Craig Desmarais

KEEP THE FIRE BURNING: FROM ENCOUNTER TO OBEDIENCE

Keep the Fire Burning: From Encounter to Obedience

Spiritual retreats can be catalytic. God meets you. Conviction sharpens. Vision clarifies. You leave with fire in your bones and a renewed sense of purpose.

But fire untended fades.

The men who change are not the ones who feel the most. They are the ones who build systems and structure around what they felt. If God did something in you this weekend, your responsibility now is to steward it. Here is how to keep the momentum going.

1. Start with Gratitude, Not Strategy

Before you build a plan, build gratitude.

Psalm 103:2 (NIV) says, “Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits.” 

Gratitude locks in perspective. It protects you from minimizing what God did once you return to normal routines.

Write down what happened. Be specific. What did God confront? What did He heal? What did He clarify?

Ask yourself:

  • Why did I go?
  • What was I asking God to do?
  • Did He meet or exceed that expectation? If not, how will you keep seeking Him?

Do not trust your memory alone. Write it. Revisit it. Thank Him again for it. Gratitude turns a moment into a milestone.

2. Define Your Assignment, Not Just Your Calling

At the retreat, Pastor Nate challenged us to shift our thinking. Instead of obsessing over our lifelong “calling,” focus on our current assignment.

Your calling is broad. Your assignment is specific.

Calling might be “to lead,” “to shepherd,” or “to build.” Assignment answers the question: What has God entrusted to me right now?

What has He given you to do or be responsible for in this season?

It may be:

  • Leading your wife with greater intentionality.
  • Getting your finances in order.
  • Repairing a strained relationship.
  • Discipling your son.
  • Serving faithfully in a hidden role.

Jesus said in Luke 16:10 (NIV), “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much.” 

Faithfulness to your present assignment prepares you for future opportunities.

Define it clearly. Write one sentence that describes your current assignment. If it is vague, it will not move you. If it is clear, it will focus you.

Pick one lane of growth. Then choose one or two areas to work on. You cannot transform everything at once. You can obey today.

3. Translate Inspiration into a SMART Plan

Inspiration without structure evaporates.

Proverbs 21:5 (NIV) says, “The plans of the diligent lead to profit.” 

Diligence is not accidental. It is designed.

For each area you selected:

  • Set a SMART goal. Make it specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound.
  • Create a defined project around it.
  • Break that project into small, practical tasks.

If your assignment is to lead spiritually at home, your goal might be: “Host weekly family devotions for the next 12 weeks.” The project becomes preparation and consistency. The tasks include choosing a reading plan, blocking a time, preparing discussion questions, and setting reminders.

Write your next action step. Not someday. This week.

Momentum is maintained by visible progress. Small obedience compounds over time.

4. Anchor It in Scripture

Your assignment must be rooted in truth, not emotion.

Joshua 1:8 (ESV) says, “You shall meditate on it day and night… for then you will make your way prosperous.” 

Scripture stabilizes your conviction when motivation dips.

Identify verses that directly support your assignment. Write them out. Memorize them. Speak them.

  • If your focus is discipline, anchor in 1 Corinthians 9:27.
  • If it is purity, anchor in 1 Thessalonians 4:3–4.
  • If it is leadership at home, anchor in Ephesians 6:4.

Meditate by asking:

  • What does this reveal about God?
  • What does this expose in me?
  • What action does this require?

James 1:22 (NIV) warns, “Do not merely listen to the word… Do what it says.” 

The Word is not for inspiration alone. It is for transformation.

5. Establish a Devotional Rhythm

You will not sustain spiritual momentum on occasional intensity.

Choose a place. Choose a time. Choose a frequency. Protect it.

Begin with prayer. Invite the Holy Spirit to search your heart. Read with a plan rather than randomly flipping pages. Reflect slowly. Ask how the text intersects with your assignment.

Psalm 1:2–3 (NIV) describes the man who delights in the law of the Lord as “like a tree planted by streams of water.” 

Stability comes from rootedness.

Start simple. Fifteen focused minutes daily is better than sporadic, emotional hours. Consistency builds depth. Depth builds resilience.

6. Create a Weekly Rhythm of Reflection

Growth requires review.

Pick one day each week to step back. Ask:

  • Did I honor my assignment this week?
  • Where did I drift?
  • What significant actions must I take next week?

Proverbs 4:26 (NIV) says, “Give careful thought to the paths for your feet.” 

Reflection keeps your direction intentional.

As you look ahead, identify the key events or tasks that move you forward. 

Do not try to plan every detail. Just clarify the big rocks. Capture additional thoughts or responsibilities somewhere reliable. Decide whether they are urgent or can wait.

Reflection prevents drift. Planning reduces friction.

7. Invite Accountability

Momentum multiplies in brotherhood.

Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 (NIV) reminds us that two are better than one. 

Tell a trusted man your assignment and your goals. Give him permission to ask specific questions. Schedule regular check-ins.

Do not settle for vague encouragement. Ask for honest feedback.

Isolation weakens resolve. Accountability strengthens it.

Retreats ignite vision. Discipline sustains it. If God moved in you, steward it with gratitude, clarity, structure, Scripture, rhythm, and brotherhood.

Define your assignment. Build your plan. Walk it out faithfully.

God honors men who take responsibility for what He has placed in their hands today.

Craig Desmarais

KEEP THE FIRE BURNING: FROM ENCOUNTER TO OBEDIENCE Read More »

How a Biblical Budget Makes Christmas More Meaningful

How a Biblical Budget Makes Christmas More Meaningful

For many men, the Christmas season creates a familiar tension: we want to be generous, but we also want to honor God with financial restraint and wisdom. Scripture gives us a better approach to Christian holiday finances—one rooted in peace, purpose, and intentional generosity. Practicing biblical budgeting for Christmas doesn’t shrink your joy; it focuses it.

Below is a practical, Christ-centered framework to help you lead your family with clarity and conviction this season.

1. Define Your Budget: A Simple Framework Anyone Can Use

Most men don’t need a complex spreadsheet—they need a clear plan. A biblical budget is simply deciding how your money will be used before emotion or urgency decides for you.

Use this framework:

  • Provision — Cover essentials first.
  • Planning — Set real limits on gifts, travel, and experiences.
  • Purpose — Predetermine your giving so generosity is intentional, not reactive.

Dave Ramsey’s signature principle applies here: give every dollar a job before it wanders.

Key Verse: “The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance.” — Proverbs 21:5

2. Trim Thoughtless Spending So You Can Intentionally Bless

Holiday impulse spending adds up fast—quick purchases, upgraded décor, last-minute gifts, and panic buys.

Instead, choose purpose over pressure:

  • Cut one subscription for the month.
  • Skip one dinner out.
  • Cap non-essentials at a predetermined limit.

Redeploy the freed-up margin toward intentionally blessing someone. A small sacrifice becomes another family’s answered prayer.

Key Verse: “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” — Acts 20:35

3. Give Experiences, Not Obligations

Your family won’t remember the endless parade of toys or gadgets—but they’ll remember the time you spent creating moments with them.

Shift from accumulating stuff to creating memories:

  • For Busy Parents – A Date Night On You: Gift Card to their’ favorite restaurant (or pay for a babysitter)
  • For the Kids – Tickets to the Zoo, Museum, or  Movies (Candy Included)
  • For Close Friends – A simple overnight trip or shared activity

My wife and I love giving the gift of experiences to our friends and family—something they can do together, not another item that becomes clutter and noise. Experiences knit relationships closer; things just sit on shelves.

Experiences deepen gratitude and connection. Stuff depreciates; memories appreciate.

Key Verse: “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” — Matthew 6:21

4. Practice Husband–Wife Money Stewardship Together

Men often carry financial stress in silence. But biblical marriage is oneness—shared responsibility, shared wisdom, shared mission.

Sit down together to decide:

  • What kind of Christmas do you truly desire
  • What you can realistically afford
  • Who do you want to bless as a family

Your wife isn’t just there to “sign off on the budget”—she’s your God-given partner in wisdom. Unity in planning creates unity in the home.

Key Verse: “Two are better than one… for if they fall, one will lift up his companion.” — Ecclesiastes 4:9–10

5. Stay Anchored to the Bigger Story

Christmas isn’t about proving your love by how much you spend. It’s about remembering God’s generosity in Christ.

A biblical budget becomes an act of worship—aligning your finances with your faith:

  • Generosity > extravagance
  • Stewardship forms character
  • Peace > pressure
  • Presence > presents
  • God honors the man who leads with clarity and conviction

Your financial leadership this season echoes into your family’s spiritual formation in ways you may never fully see.

Key Verse: “Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!” — 2 Corinthians 9:15

Application Questions:

  1. Where is my spending out of alignment with the man God is shaping me to become? What one change can I make this week to correct it?
  2. How can I involve my wife more intentionally in planning our Christmas budget so we lead with unity rather than isolation?
  3. Who is one person or family God may be prompting me to bless this season—and what step can I take today to prepare for that generosity?

Craig Desmarais

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The Art of Stillness

The Art of Stillness:
A Guide for Men Seeking God in Solitude

“Hurry is the great enemy of spiritual life in our day. You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.”
— Dallas Willard

Most men I talk to want to grow. We want clarity, confidence, and conviction in how we lead, love, and live. But the truth is, most of us are operating at full speed, constantly plugged in, and rarely—if ever—alone with our own thoughts, let alone with God.

The problem? Growth requires stillness. Stillness requires intention. And intention requires space.

Let’s talk about how silence, solitude, and stillness can shape you into the man God designed you to be.

Why Silence and Solitude Matter More Than Ever

Dallas Willard once said, “Solitude and silence are the most radical of the spiritual disciplines because they most directly attack the sources of human misery and wrongdoing.”

That’s not an overstatement. Solitude and silence are spiritual reset buttons. They strip away distractions, ego, and the noise of the world. When you make space to be with God, you rediscover who you are—and who you are not.

Jesus modeled this. He regularly withdrew to quiet places, even when people were demanding His attention (Luke 5:16). That wasn’t weakness—it was wisdom. He understood that private connection fuels public power.

In Silence, We Learn to Live in God’s Presence

For many of us, silence is uncomfortable. We instinctively fill the quiet with music, podcasts, texts, or tasks. But silence isn’t the absence of something—it’s the presence of Someone. 

When I first tried to sit in silence for 10 minutes, I couldn’t last more than 3. My brain was buzzing. But over time, that space became holy. It’s where I started to notice how anxious I really was. It’s also where I began to hear God’s voice—not audibly, but internally—with more clarity than ever before.

Psalm 62:5 says, “For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him.” That kind of waiting doesn’t come naturally. But it’s deeply formative. It takes work and intentionality.

Stillness Makes Room for Listening

You can’t hear God while sprinting. Stillness trains you to slow down—not just physically, but mentally and spiritually as well.

In Exodus 14:14, God tells the Israelites, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Stillness is an act of trust. It’s admitting that you’re not the source of your strength, nor the solution to every problem.

Stillness also helps you become a better listener—to God, to your spouse, to your kids, and to your own soul. It slows down your reactions and sharpens your response.

How to Build Silence, Solitude, and Stillness into Your Day 

This isn’t about escaping your responsibilities. It’s about showing up better for them. Here are some practical ways to start:

For Husbands and Fathers

  • Wake up 15 minutes earlier than the rest of the house. Use that time for quiet prayer and stillness.
  • Create a quiet corner with a chair, Bible, and journal.
  • Power down your devices after dinner. Replace screen time with reflection.

For Young Men Becoming Leaders

  • Start small. Set a timer for 5 minutes. Just sit. Breathe. Listen.
  • Replace one scroll session a day with a solitude walk—no music, no phone.
  • Use journaling to track your thoughts, prayers, and what you sense God is saying.

Why It Matters

  • You’ll parent with more peace.
  • You’ll lead with more wisdom.
  • You’ll resist burnout and hustle culture.
  • You’ll serve others without running dry.

A Simple Challenge: 15 Minutes for Formation

Here’s a challenge I’ve personally used and shared with other men:

  • 5 minutes of stillness in the morning (before anything else)
  • 5 minutes of silence midday (pause and reset)
  • 5 minutes of solitude in the evening (reflect and release)

Do this for 30 days. Track how it changes your clarity, your stress levels, and your awareness of God.

Final Thoughts

Stillness isn’t about checking out of life. It’s about checking in with God, with yourself, and with what matters most. If you want to lead well, you must first listen well. And that starts in the quiet. Embracing stillness will bring you a sense of peace, clarity, and a deeper connection with God and yourself.

Questions for Reflection

  • What would change if I led my life from a place of peace rather than pressure?
  • Where in my day can I create intentional space for silence or solitude?
  • What am I afraid I’ll discover in the stillness—and what might God want to heal there?

Craig Desmarais

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