David de la Cruz

SUITED FOR BATTLE: HOW A CHRISTIAN MAN FIGHTS

Suited for Battle: How a Christian Man Fights

Ephesians 6:10–18

Most men wake up thinking about coffee, kids, and the calendar. We don’t wake up thinking, “I’m in a battle today.” But we are. Every single day.

There is a war raging — not political, not economic, but spiritual. Marriages are being destroyed. Children are being targeted. Men are walking off the field wounded, and some never come back. The enemy is real, relentless, and will show you no mercy.

But here’s the truth that should make you stand taller: Jesus Christ has already won the war. The cross was the decisive victory. In 1974, a Japanese soldier, Hiroo Onoda, was found fighting in the Philippine jungle even though World War 2 had ended 29 years earlier.  The war was over but he kept fighting.  Similarly, the devil is a defeated enemy still throwing punches. You are not fighting for victory. You are fighting from it.  How do we fight?  What does the Bible tell us about our weapons and tactics? 

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.” — Ephesians 6:10–11

Your Strength Comes from God, Not You

Paul doesn’t begin with the armor. He begins with the source. “Be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.” Christian strength is not self-generated — it’s God-given. You don’t have to be enough. God places His might over you. That takes pressure off. That changes everything.

Your Enemy Isn’t Your Wife, Your Boss, or Your Neighbor

“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness.” (Ephesians 6:12)

The people in your life who push your buttons aren’t your real enemy. The enemy is spiritual, and his chief weapon isn’t power — it’s deception. He schemes. He deploys targeted lies about God, about you, about your worth. C.S. Lewis wrote in The Screwtape Letters: the devil’s greatest trick is convincing you there’s no war. Don’t fall for it.

The Arsenal: God’s Armor Is God’s Own

Notice: this isn’t your armor. Isaiah 59:17 pictures God Himself wearing a breastplate of righteousness and a helmet of salvation. You are clothed in what belongs to Him. “Put on the Lord Jesus Christ” (Romans 13:14).

The seven pieces of the armor work together: the Belt of Truth holds everything in place. The Breastplate of Righteousness protects your heart — the throne of who you are. The Gospel Shoes keep you mobile and grounded in peace. The Shield of Faith extinguishes every flaming dart of accusation, doubt, and shame. The Helmet of Salvation guards your mind — protect your thinking. And the Sword of the Spirit, God’s Word, is your only offensive weapon. Know it. Use it.

All of it is held together by Prayer — “praying at all times in the Spirit” (Ephesians 6:18). When Daniel prayed and fasted, the archangel Michael was fighting in the heavenlies. Your prayers move heaven.

The Posture: Stand Firm

Notice the passage doesn’t say “fight and win.” It says stand firm. The war is won. Your job is to possess the ground. “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” (James 4:7). In spiritual warfare, there are no pacifists. Jesus said it plainly: “Stay dressed for action and keep your lamps burning” (Luke 12:35).

5 Applications for Men

  1. Start your day suited up. Before your feet hit the floor, pray through each piece of armor intentionally. Ask God for His truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and wisdom for the day ahead.
  2. Identify the real enemy. The next time you feel rage at your wife, frustration at your kids, or contempt for your boss — stop. Ask yourself: what scheme is behind this? Refuse to make people your enemy.
  3. Know your sword. Modern soldiers field-strip their rifles blindfolded. Pick one book of the Bible and read it until you know it. Memorize verses. “The word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword” (Hebrews 4:12).
  4. Lock shields with a brother. The Roman “tortoise” formation worked because soldiers linked shields together. Find a man you trust. Share your battles. Let his faith strengthen yours, and strengthen his.
  5. Pray bigger. Don’t just pray for your needs. Pray for your church, your pastor, your city, the persecuted church worldwide. When you pray, you have joined with heaven in the conflict.
  6. Guard your mind. What you consume daily shapes your thinking. “Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:12). Protect your mind from the voices and narratives that pull you away from truth.

Man of God — you are not a civilian. You are a warrior. Suit up.

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WHEN KINGS STAY HOME: THE COST OF ISOLATION

When Kings Stay Home: The Cost of Isolation

There is a sobering line in Scripture that every man should underline, circle, and wrestle with. “In the spring of the year, the time when kings go out to battle… David sent Joab… but David remained at Jerusalem” (2 Samuel 11:1).

David stayed behind.

It appears like a minor scheduling choice, but it was more than that. David departed from the rhythm, brotherhood, and holy ambition that had defined much of his life. The men of war went out together; they stood shoulder to shoulder, sleeping under the stars, fighting the Lord’s battles. David, the warrior-poet who once ran toward Goliath, chose isolation over assembly. Comfort over calling. And that decision opened the door to adultery, deceit, abuse of power, and the death of an innocent man. 

If you don’t know the story,  David stayed home and went up to his roof and saw a woman, Bathsheba, bathing. It stirred lust in his heart and he sinned by sleeping with this married woman and then worked to cover it up. But sin didn’t begin on the rooftop with Bathsheba. It began when David stopped going with the men and set aside his purpose.

David was a great fighter, but men were never meant to fight alone. From Genesis onward, God forms men in the context of mission and brotherhood. “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18) is not only about marriage.  God is talking about what is good for us and isolation is “not good.”

To the surprise of many, I’m an introvert by nature and while I enjoy solitude and find time alone energying, I also know that I need friendship, community, and others in my life.  I have to push past my introversion and remember what God has said.

Ecclesiastes wisely reminds us, “Two are better than one… For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow” (Ecclesiastes 4:9–10). David had no one to lift him because he had removed himself from the ranks. He wasn’t surrounded by men who would sharpen him, challenge him, or call him back to purpose.

I often think about Jesus who enjoyed perfect fellowship with God and was perfect in every way, yet did not walk alone. He called twelve men to be with Him. He withdrew with them. He prayed with them. And before his crucifixion, He brought His closest brothers with Him and said, “Watch and pray” (Matthew 26:41).

A men’s retreat is not an escape from responsibility; it is a return to alignment and focus. It is choosing the battlefield over the balcony. It is saying, I will not stay behind while other men press forward. We step away from the noise, temptation, and routine to seek God.  This is when walls come down, confession flows and strength is renewed. Proverbs says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). But iron must collide to be sharpened.

Every retreat, Remnant Night, Tribe and Crew is a call to step back into formation. To walk together. To fight together. To return home stronger, clearer, and more anchored in Christ.

Don’t stay behind. Go with the kings.

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What is the Daniel Fast?

What is the Daniel Fast?

A 21-Day Challenge for Men Who Want More of God

Each time this year, I look forward to the first few weeks as our church devotes them to prayer, fasting and seeking the face of God.  The Daniel Fast is one of the most practical and time-tested ways for God’s people to humble themselves, seek clarity, and realign their lives with heaven. It is not a fad diet or a religious stunt. It is a biblical discipline rooted in the life of the prophet Daniel, a man who lived under pressure, temptation, and political hostility—and yet remained spiritually sharp.  Fasting is abstaining from certain foods for a specific period of time for a spiritual purpose.  

In Daniel 10:2–3 (ESV) we read:

“In those days …I ate no delicacies, no meat or wine entered my mouth, nor did I anoint myself at all, for the full three weeks.”

That’s 21 days—not accidental, not symbolic—but intentional. Daniel set aside rich foods, comforts, and indulgences to seek understanding from the Lord. And Scripture tells us that God heard his prayer from the very first day (Daniel 10:12).  As a church we will commit 21 days to fasting and prayer so that we can seek the Lord. 

What is the Daniel Fast?

The Daniel Fast is a partial fast, focused on simple, whole foods: vegetables, fruits, legumes, whole grains, nuts, seeds, and water. It intentionally removes meats, sweets, alcohol, rich foods, and often stimulants like coffee. But biblically speaking, the heart of the fast is not what you remove but your heart during the fast.  Have a heart that hungers and thirsts after righteousness.  Don’t just change your diet, but change your schedule.  Spend more time in prayer, the Bible, worship, meditation and other spiritual practices. 

Why Should Men Do It?

Fasting gives you a chance to slow things down, quiet the flesh and elevate your Spirit. With so much noise and busyness, fasting gives you a time to examine your life, ask questions like “Am I happy with the direction my life is going?” or “What does God want to do in my life for this next season?”   

Start Somewhere—But Start

This is the challenge: take the 21-day Daniel Fast. Not perfectly—but purposefully.

If you’ve never fasted, start simply. Remove desserts. Cut out snacking. Skip a meal. Abstain from social media and replace it with Scripture and prayer.   And if you fail one day? Don’t quit. Pick it back up. God honors faithfulness, not formulas. Jentezen Franklin said about fasting, “If it doesn’t mean anything to you, it won’t mean anything to God.”  Make sure your fast is meaningful, purposeful and a true sacrifice to the Lord. 

Application:

  • Write it down:  Write down what your fast will look like. Not just what you will add and abstain from, but what you’re praying for and asking God for.
  • Abstain: Consider what you’re going to sacrifice and give up during your fast.  . 
  • Add healthy things: Consider what you will bring into your fast.  More time in worship, prayer and meditation are a good place to start.  Perhaps you start a new Bible reading plan as well.

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YEAR ONE: Protecting the First Year of Your Marriage

YEAR ONE: Protecting the First Year of Your Marriage

At this point in my life, I’ve lost track of the exact number of weddings I’ve officiated or participated in—it’s probably close to 200. At almost every wedding, the couple asks their guests to share a word of wisdom or best wishes. Whenever I’m asked, I write down Deuteronomy 24:5:

“When a man is newly married, he shall not go out with the army or be liable for any other public duty. He shall be free at home one year to be happy with his wife whom he has taken.” (ESV)

This verse has always stood out to me because it highlights how critical the first year of marriage is. From it, I believe we see at least three key principles:

1. Your First Year Is Foundational

The first year sets the tone for the rest of your marriage. You will establish rhythms, habits, and ways of relating to each other that will shape your future together. It’s like a ship setting out to sea—if the compass is even one degree off, it will end up far from its intended destination. Healthy habits must be formed early: serving one another, learning how to lead and follow, recognizing and appreciating each other’s strengths.

In our first year, my wife and I agreed to live by Paul’s instruction in Ephesians 4:26: “Do not let the sun go down on your anger.” That commitment became a guardrail that has helped us through countless moments of disagreement.

2. Your First Priority Is Your Wife

Before marriage, a man may freely set his ambitions on work, projects, or personal goals. But once married, God calls him to reorient his priorities. Deuteronomy 24:5 even exempted a newlywed from serving his community or defending his nation. Why? Because his wife must come first.

Marriage means you are now “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Protecting your marriage comes before protecting your reputation, your career, or even your community. The strength of the family is the strength of the nation, and that begins with a husband cherishing his wife above all else.

3. Your First Goal: Pursue Happiness at Home

The command in Deuteronomy 24:5 is not merely to stay home—it is “to be happy with his wife.” In other words, joy, laughter, and delight are not optional extras in marriage; they are commanded.

I once heard a well-meaning man say, “Don’t try to make your wife happy.” I am glad I ignored that advice! A husband should cultivate an atmosphere of joy. Stress, work pressures, and life’s demands will try to steal it, but a godly man chooses to bring happiness into his home. Create space for laughter, fun, and memory-making moments. Years later, it is often those moments—not promotions or possessions—that will be cherished the most.

A Timeless Principle

As a Christian under the new covenant, I don’t take Deuteronomy 24:5 literally, but I do take it seriously. God gave us a timeless principle: protect the first year of marriage. Not as a burden, but as a gift, so that couples can enjoy the happiness He always intended.


Application Questions

  1. What habits are you currently forming in your marriage that will shape the next ten years?
  2. In what ways do you demonstrate that your wife is your highest earthly priority?
  3. What intentional steps can you take this week to bring joy and laughter into your home?
  4. If you weren’t intentional about your first year, how can you start this year? It’s not too late to create new rhythms and patterns that bring happiness to your home.

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THE UNITY CHECKLIST

THE UNITY CHECKLIST:
7 Ways to Measure the Health of Your Marriage

A thriving marriage doesn’t happen by accident. Unity requires intentional work—humility, communication, and sacrifice. Ephesians 4:2–3 lays the foundation: “With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

As men, we are called to lead our homes with vision, wisdom, and servant-hearted strength. But how can we know if we’re doing that well? Below is a practical “Unity Checklist”—seven key areas to help assess the health of your marriage and identify where you may need to grow.

1. Faith: Is Jesus First?

Matthew 6:33 reminds us to “seek first the kingdom of God.” A godly marriage starts with both spouses having a shared commitment to Christ. Your wife can’t be your savior—Jesus is. Is your relationship with Him your first priority? Are you pursuing spiritual unity through prayer, church, and the Word?

2. Family: Are You Aligned on Roles and Culture?

Are you clear on your roles as husband and wife? Are you embracing what it means to “leave and cleave” from your parents and to your wife (Genesis 2:24)? Talk through parenting styles, extended family dynamics, and cultural expectations. Is there a stepfamily, and are there boundaries in place?  Unity includes understanding past trauma, sin cycles, or challenges—like addiction or abuse—that could impact your home and intimacy.

3. Fidelity: Are You Guarding the Covenant?

Marriage isn’t a contract—it’s a covenant. Do you have strong boundaries with the opposite sex? How do you view divorce? Are you willing to prioritize your spouse above even your children? Hebrews 13:4 calls us to honor the marriage bed and keep it pure. Unity requires trust, transparency, and loyalty.

4. Free Time: How Will You Enjoy Life?

How do you unwind? What does your ideal day off look like? What about your wife’s? Disagreements about downtime, social media usage, or communication styles can create tension. Do your rhythms clash or complement? Are you willing to adjust to honor your spouse’s needs?

5. Friendship: Are You in Community?

Proverbs tells us we become like the company we keep. Who are the couples influencing your marriage? Surround yourselves with godly, healthy relationships. Don’t isolate. Learn from others—what to do, and what not to do. You’re the average of your five closest friends—make sure they reflect the kind of marriage you want.

6. Finances: Are You Unified in Stewardship?

Money can be a major point of conflict. Are you a saver or a spender? Do you tithe? Are your accounts joined or separate? Budgeting together is an act of trust and unity. Agree on where you’re living, what you’re giving, and how you’re preparing for the future.

7. Future: Are You Dreaming Together?

Do you have shared goals for the next 1–5 years? Are you building our plan or still clinging to my plan and her plan? God didn’t design you to compete with each other but to complete each other. Marriage is a mission, and your vision needs to be united.

Unity is not the absence of conflict—it’s the presence of commitment. The aim of problem-solving is not to win the argument but to win your spouse. God’s purpose for your life includes letting your wife help you, and vice versa. Use this checklist, invite the Holy Spirit into the process, and keep growing—together.

Application:

  1. Schedule a “Unity Check-In” with your spouse and compare notes.  
  2. Where is the strongest area of unity within your marriage? Which area needs to be strengthened?  Choose one area to focus on each month. 
  3. Create a shared vision for the next 1-5 years.  Discuss family values, financial goals, ministry hopes, parenting plans, and begin dreaming together.  Revisit and revise your list annually.

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GOD’S DESIGN FOR MARRIAGE

GOD’S DESIGN FOR MARRIAGE: DECLARED ONE – BECOMING ONE

“A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh…What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Matthew 19:5–6, ESV

Declared One—Becoming One

There are two questions every man must settle in life: Who will you worship? and Who will you marry? These two decisions shape everything—your faith, your future, your family, your legacy. Get either one wrong, and the consequences ripple for decades. Get them right, and your life becomes a testimony of God’s goodness.

At Awakening Church, I’ve unofficially become the “marriage pastor.” If you’ve been married through us, chances are we’ve had a conversation—about God’s purpose for marriage, about how to build a healthy foundation, about why divorce isn’t the easy out the world pretends it is. We take marriage seriously because God takes marriage seriously.

God’s Design: From Two to One

Jesus quotes Genesis when He says, “A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh…What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:5–6, ESV). Marriage is about oneness. On your wedding day, that oneness is declared. But every day after that, you fight to protect and nurture it.

That’s why the wedding day matters. It’s not just a photo op—it’s a holy declaration. When the bride enters, everyone stands. Not because it’s tradition, but because something significant is happening. Just like when the president enters the room or a judge enters the chambers, the room knows that something noteworthy is happening. This isn’t a contract; it’s a covenant. Two families, once separate, are now united. The couple turns to face the pastor to recognize that God is at the center of this new union.

A Covenant, Not a Contract

Our culture treats vows lightly. Jesus warned against careless promises, but in marriage, the vows matter. They’re not just between two people—they include God as a witness. “As God is my witness…” That’s no throwaway line. Heaven records every vow you make to your wife.

And the rings? They’re not made of paper or wood. They’re forged from metal because they’re meant to last. Your marriage should endure fire, friction, and time.

Oneness Is a Process

Just as salvation is a moment followed by a lifetime of sanctification, your wedding declares you are one—but you spend the rest of your life becoming one. Through joy and pain, laughter and tears, you grow in unity. You learn to forgive, to serve, to lead with love. That’s why weddings often end with communion. Because just like your walk with Jesus, marriage requires grace.

Some traditions illustrate this beautifully: Celtic handfasting, Filipino lasso ceremonies, the bride taking the husband’s name—all echo the deeper spiritual reality: two have become one. Legally, spiritually, and physically, God has joined you together.

And yes, some of you may have gotten the order wrong. Maybe you lived together before the vows. There’s grace for that. But now is the time to set things in order—because God blesses what He builds.

The Work Begins Now

The honeymoon is your first adventure. But the real journey is learning how to walk in unity, day by day. You were declared one. Now, by God’s grace, become one.

Applications:

  1. If your wife were asked today, “Do you feel like your husband is becoming one with you?” What would she say?
  2. Do you treat your marriage as a contract or a covenant?  How have you put the Lord at the center of your marriage?
  3. Have you allowed outside influences—family, culture, work—to separate what God joined together?

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5 MYTHS ABOUT FORGIVENESS EVERY CHRISTIAN MAN NEEDS TO CONFRONT

5 MYTHS ABOUT FORGIVENESS
EVERY CHRISTIAN MAN NEEDS TO CONFRONT

“Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors… For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”
— Matthew 6:12,14 (ESV)

Few commands are as central to the Christian life—and as misunderstood—as forgiveness. Jesus didn’t just preach forgiveness; He embodied it. On the cross, He paid a debt we could never repay. And in doing so, He opened the door for us to live in freedom—not only from sin, but from bitterness, anger, and revenge.

But walking in forgiveness also means learning to extend it. Over the years, I’ve had many conversations with men who are carrying deep wounds. And I’ve seen how misunderstanding forgiveness can keep them stuck.  Many people don’t forgive because they believe that forgiveness is something that it’s not.  

Here are five myths that need to be challenged:


1. Forgiveness Is Optional

Let’s start with the biggest lie: that forgiveness is something you can choose later, or only if you feel like it. Jesus didn’t present forgiveness as a suggestion—it was a condition of the Christian life.

In Matthew 6, He ties our forgiveness from God to our willingness to forgive others. In Mark 11:25, He says, “When you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone…”

Forgiveness isn’t optional—it’s obedience. If you’ve received grace, you’re called to give it. Forgiveness is not weakness. It’s spiritual warfare. It breaks cycles of offense and unleashes healing, both for you and others.


2. Forgiveness Means Forgetting

Isaiah 43:25 says that God “remembers our sins no more,” but that doesn’t mean He forgets like we misplace our keys. It means He chooses not to dwell on them.

You may never forget the betrayal or the wound. Forgiveness doesn’t erase the memory—it breaks the power of it. You’re not a robot; you’re a man with real experiences and a real heart. But you don’t have to let those memories master you. You can stop rehearsing and start releasing.


3. Forgiveness Means Trusting

Forgiveness and trust are not the same. Forgiveness is given; trust is earned. Reconciliation is a separate step, and it requires repentance, accountability, and time.

Jesus tells us to forgive seventy times seven—but He never says to pretend like nothing happened. Forgiveness says, “I’m not seeking revenge.” Trust says, “Let’s rebuild slowly.”

You can forgive someone without putting them back in the same position in your life. That’s not unforgiveness—it’s wisdom.


4. Forgiveness Is for the Other Person

We sometimes believe that withholding forgiveness gives us leverage or power over someone who hurt us. But the truth is, they often don’t even remember the offense—or they’ve moved on.

Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer. It doesn’t trap them—it traps you. It breeds bitterness, isolates you from others, and blocks the flow of God’s peace in your life.

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. It clears the clutter from your soul and makes room for freedom.


5. Forgiveness Lets Them Off the Hook

Here’s the real truth: forgiveness doesn’t cancel justice. It simply puts it in the right hands—God’s. Romans 12:19 reminds us: “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

Forgiveness says, “I’m stepping out of the judge’s seat and trusting God to do what’s right.” You’re not saying it wasn’t wrong—you’re saying it no longer has power over you.

Forgiveness isn’t denial. It’s release.


Final Thought

Forgiveness is how we walk in the power of the Gospel.   It’s not easy—but it is necessary.

Jesus forgave you when you didn’t deserve it. When you walk in forgiveness, you walk in freedom.

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THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT: BECOMING THE MAN GOD DESIGNED

THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT: BECOMING THE MAN GOD DESIGNED

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…”Galatians 5:22–23 (ESV)

You weren’t made to be driven by impulse. You were made to be led by the Spirit. In a world where manhood is often measured by dominance, power, or pride, Scripture offers a different portrait of strength: the man who bears the fruit of the Spirit.

Paul contrasts this with the “works of the flesh” in Galatians 5: sexual immorality, jealousy, rage, division, and drunkenness—things that thrive when we’re living for ourselves. The flesh wants independence from God. But the Spirit? He wants us to become like Christ—even when it costs us.

Let’s be clear: these are not fruits of the Spirit, plural. It’s fruit, singular. This is not a menu you pick and choose from. It’s a complete portrait of a life transformed by God’s indwelling presence. Just like an apple tree doesn’t need to strain to produce apples, a man filled with the Spirit naturally begins to produce these qualities. It’s normal. It’s healthy. It’s expected. And just like fruit, this development starts small and requires pruning.

This past spring, I pruned some of my apple and pear trees for the first time. Years ago, they produced a lot of fruit, but lately, we hadn’t seen much. The immediate result of pruning wasn’t exactly pretty. In fact, when my wife came home, she was shocked by what I had done. Honestly, I wasn’t even sure if I had followed the DIY videos correctly. The trees looked bare—almost butchered. But just a few months later, I started to see new fruit begin to emerge. That growth only came after I was willing to go through the messy and uncomfortable process of pruning.

In the same way, God prunes us—cutting away attitudes, distractions, and habits that are stunting our growth. If you want to bear spiritual fruit, expect to be pruned.


Fruit of the Spirit: A Picture of Christlikeness


Jonathan Edwards, during the Great Awakening, responded to critics by highlighting not just the spiritual fireworks—visions and miracles—but the transformed lives. People confessed sins. Reconciled relationships. They didn’t just feel something—they became something new. The fruit is evidence.

Let’s break the fruit into three dimensions:

Internal – Who You Are at Heart

  • Love: The foundation. A self-giving love that seeks the good of others, whether or not it’s returned.
  • Joy: Not happiness based on happenings—but a deep gladness rooted in grace.
  • Peace: A calm and wholeness that comes from being reconciled with God.

Relational – How You Treat Others

  • Patience: Enduring with people. Long-suffering without retaliation.
  • Kindness: Integrity wrapped in gentleness. A warm heart that translates into helpful action.
  • Goodness: Moral courage in action. Doing the right thing, even when it’s hard.

Disciplinary – How You Govern Yourself

  • Faithfulness: Loyal. Dependable. A man of your word.
  • Gentleness: Not weakness, but meekness—strength under control.
  • Self-Control: Mastery over your desires. Not ruled by emotion, impulse, or appetite.

Gifts vs. Fruit


The gifts of the Spirit—healing, tongues, prophecy, wisdom—are powerful, but they don’t tell the whole story. Gifts are given. Fruit is grown. One shows God is with you. The other shows God rules you.

Paul told Timothy that the qualifications for leadership weren’t spiritual gifts, but fruit: “self-controlled,” “a lover of good,” “disciplined” (1 Tim. 3; Titus 1). Why? Because fruit is what makes your witness credible.

We are to pursue both. “Pursue love, and earnestly desire the spiritual gifts” (1 Cor. 14:1). But love—first in the list—is the foundation. As one preacher put it:

“Joy is love rejoicing. Peace is love resting. Patience is love enduring. Kindness is love serving. Goodness is love caring. Faithfulness is love trusting. Gentleness is love yielding. Self-control is love mastering.”


Final Challenge


Brother, if you want to grow this kind of fruit, you need to:

  • Abide in Christ (John 15:4–5) – Fruit comes from the Vine.
  • Walk in step with the Spirit (Gal. 5:25) – Stay in rhythm with His leading.
  • Practice the disciplines – Prayer, fasting, Scripture, and fellowship.
  • Welcome pruning – Let God cut away what’s hindering growth.

This fruit is not about performance—it’s about transformation. It’s not what you do. It’s about who you’re becoming.

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LESSONS IN THE HOLY LAND

THE UNEVEN STEPS TO THE TEMPLE

Recently, I returned back from a trip to the Holy Land. I was able to take in so many of the most important sites in the story of the Bible including the Sea of Galilee, Bethlehem, Jericho and so many others. But I spent most of my time in the city of Jerusalem where I visited many of the same places that the people of the Bible visited.

One of my favorite places is a little known spot called the Southern Steps or the Rabbi Steps. These steps were used by the hundreds of thousands of Jewish pilgrims who would visit God’s temple each year for the various holy days and festivals. As I walked this area and mediated on the structures these 3 spiritual truths jumped out at me.

#1 We must be cleansed.

The Mikva’ot or purification pools: before you walked up the steps to approach the temple it was required that you purified yourself in one of the dozens of Mikvahs or cleansing baths that surround the southern wall. It’s a reminder that we can only approach God when we have been cleansed and purified. The guidelines were clear: you didn’t cleanse one limb at a time, but through full immersion. This is a reminder that we are only clean when we allow God to clean all of who we are: our hands, hearts, and head must be continually and completely cleansed in order for us to approach God with the freedom and confidence that he desires.

#2 God wants our focus.

The uneven steps: the walk up the southern steps to the temple grounds are amazingly uneven. Some steps are 12 feet deep while others are closer to 36 inches. When we read the Bible, God is so precise in his measurements for the temple, the makeup of its furnishings and the rituals associated with its proper usage. Yet here, these steps demand your full attention. The worshippers could not approach the temple distracted by conversation or with their minds elsewhere. If they wanted to avoid tripping or falling down, they had to be intentional about each step and focus their attention on the approach to God’s presence.

#3 God is welcoming.

The wide roads: These were not narrow roads and steps but wide staircases and gates because God’s invitation to his presence is wide. He invites us to come to him and come with our spouses and our children. He wants us to approach him in community and with others. There were Psalms, called the Psalms of Ascent (i.e. Psalm 125) that were sung by these worshippers together as they approached God’s house with joy and expectation. The temple, city and crowds of people all served as a vivid picture of how God surrounded his people even as they surrounded His holy temple.

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WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT: MARRIAGE

THE MEANING OF MARRIAGE

“What God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:6

Today’s culture has invented all sorts of new institutions in an attempt to replace marriages.  Cohabitation, domestic partnerships, common law “marriages,” along with polyamorous relationships have all been touted as a alternatives to traditional marriage. But these relationship schemes all fail to provide the one thing that a marriage was meant to provide for the man and a woman.

When a man marries a woman, it’s a significant picture of two individuals coming together to form a new unit, a family.  Children may be the fruit of that coming together, but they don’t define the family. The family begins when the man and woman commit their lives to one another.

God declared “…a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Gen 2:24).  The act of leaving his family is significant.  He is retreating behind his past identity and family ties to create and commit to a new family.  “One flesh” signifies the unity and oneness that the man and woman would create.  They would be weakest when apart but strongest when they were indivisible.

Jesus affirmed the goal of marriage when he declared that the man and woman, “are no longer two but one flesh. What…God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:5-6).  God’s desire for every marriage, first and foremost, is to protect its unity and mature into oneness.  There are many things that can divide a couple. In Genesis, it was selfish ambition and pride.  When Jesus taught on marriage, he warned that adultery or sexual sin could wound a marriage beyond the ability to heal.   

From Genesis to Jesus, the number one objective of marriage is to protect and pursue unity and oneness.  The wedding day will formalize this unity, but you will spend every day of your lives together fulfilling that vow.  

    To the single men: Watch who you hitch your wagon to.  As you look for a spouse, make sure you’re willing to share every part of who you are with that woman.  There’s no undoing the blending that happens within a marriage.

    To the married men: Protect the “togetherness” of your marriage.  Take seriously the call to pursue oneness and unity.  What things in your life or heart are hindrances to the unity that God wants you to enjoy with your spouse?  What can you do today to strengthen your bond with your wife?

    WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT: MARRIAGE Read More »

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