When Kings Stay Home: The Cost of Isolation
There is a sobering line in Scripture that every man should underline, circle, and wrestle with. “In the spring of the year, the time when kings go out to battle… David sent Joab… but David remained at Jerusalem” (2 Samuel 11:1).
David stayed behind.
It appears like a minor scheduling choice, but it was more than that. David departed from the rhythm, brotherhood, and holy ambition that had defined much of his life. The men of war went out together; they stood shoulder to shoulder, sleeping under the stars, fighting the Lord’s battles. David, the warrior-poet who once ran toward Goliath, chose isolation over assembly. Comfort over calling. And that decision opened the door to adultery, deceit, abuse of power, and the death of an innocent man.
If you don’t know the story, David stayed home and went up to his roof and saw a woman, Bathsheba, bathing. It stirred lust in his heart and he sinned by sleeping with this married woman and then worked to cover it up. But sin didn’t begin on the rooftop with Bathsheba. It began when David stopped going with the men and set aside his purpose.
David was a great fighter, but men were never meant to fight alone. From Genesis onward, God forms men in the context of mission and brotherhood. “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18) is not only about marriage. God is talking about what is good for us and isolation is “not good.”
To the surprise of many, I’m an introvert by nature and while I enjoy solitude and find time alone energying, I also know that I need friendship, community, and others in my life. I have to push past my introversion and remember what God has said.
Ecclesiastes wisely reminds us, “Two are better than one… For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow” (Ecclesiastes 4:9–10). David had no one to lift him because he had removed himself from the ranks. He wasn’t surrounded by men who would sharpen him, challenge him, or call him back to purpose.
I often think about Jesus who enjoyed perfect fellowship with God and was perfect in every way, yet did not walk alone. He called twelve men to be with Him. He withdrew with them. He prayed with them. And before his crucifixion, He brought His closest brothers with Him and said, “Watch and pray” (Matthew 26:41).
A men’s retreat is not an escape from responsibility; it is a return to alignment and focus. It is choosing the battlefield over the balcony. It is saying, I will not stay behind while other men press forward. We step away from the noise, temptation, and routine to seek God. This is when walls come down, confession flows and strength is renewed. Proverbs says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). But iron must collide to be sharpened.
Every retreat, Remnant Night, Tribe and Crew is a call to step back into formation. To walk together. To fight together. To return home stronger, clearer, and more anchored in Christ.
Don’t stay behind. Go with the kings.