GOD’S DESIGN FOR MARRIAGE: DECLARED ONE – BECOMING ONE
“A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh…What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
–Matthew 19:5–6, ESV
Declared One—Becoming One
There are two questions every man must settle in life: Who will you worship? and Who will you marry? These two decisions shape everything—your faith, your future, your family, your legacy. Get either one wrong, and the consequences ripple for decades. Get them right, and your life becomes a testimony of God’s goodness.
At Awakening Church, I’ve unofficially become the “marriage pastor.” If you’ve been married through us, chances are we’ve had a conversation—about God’s purpose for marriage, about how to build a healthy foundation, about why divorce isn’t the easy out the world pretends it is. We take marriage seriously because God takes marriage seriously.
God’s Design: From Two to One
Jesus quotes Genesis when He says, “A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh…What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:5–6, ESV). Marriage is about oneness. On your wedding day, that oneness is declared. But every day after that, you fight to protect and nurture it.
That’s why the wedding day matters. It’s not just a photo op—it’s a holy declaration. When the bride enters, everyone stands. Not because it’s tradition, but because something significant is happening. Just like when the president enters the room or a judge enters the chambers, the room knows that something noteworthy is happening. This isn’t a contract; it’s a covenant. Two families, once separate, are now united. The couple turns to face the pastor to recognize that God is at the center of this new union.
A Covenant, Not a Contract
Our culture treats vows lightly. Jesus warned against careless promises, but in marriage, the vows matter. They’re not just between two people—they include God as a witness. “As God is my witness…” That’s no throwaway line. Heaven records every vow you make to your wife.
And the rings? They’re not made of paper or wood. They’re forged from metal because they’re meant to last. Your marriage should endure fire, friction, and time.
Oneness Is a Process
Just as salvation is a moment followed by a lifetime of sanctification, your wedding declares you are one—but you spend the rest of your life becoming one. Through joy and pain, laughter and tears, you grow in unity. You learn to forgive, to serve, to lead with love. That’s why weddings often end with communion. Because just like your walk with Jesus, marriage requires grace.
Some traditions illustrate this beautifully: Celtic handfasting, Filipino lasso ceremonies, the bride taking the husband’s name—all echo the deeper spiritual reality: two have become one. Legally, spiritually, and physically, God has joined you together.
And yes, some of you may have gotten the order wrong. Maybe you lived together before the vows. There’s grace for that. But now is the time to set things in order—because God blesses what He builds.
The Work Begins Now
The honeymoon is your first adventure. But the real journey is learning how to walk in unity, day by day. You were declared one. Now, by God’s grace, become one.
Applications:
- If your wife were asked today, “Do you feel like your husband is becoming one with you?” What would she say?
- Do you treat your marriage as a contract or a covenant? How have you put the Lord at the center of your marriage?
- Have you allowed outside influences—family, culture, work—to separate what God joined together?