Spiritual Growth

When Kings Stay Home: The Cost of Isolation

There is a sobering line in Scripture that every man should underline, circle, and wrestle with. “In the spring of the year, the time when kings go out to battle… David sent Joab… but David remained at Jerusalem” (2 Samuel 11:1).

David stayed behind.

It appears like a minor scheduling choice, but it was more than that. David departed from the rhythm, brotherhood, and holy ambition that had defined much of his life. The men of war went out together; they stood shoulder to shoulder, sleeping under the stars, fighting the Lord’s battles. David, the warrior-poet who once ran toward Goliath, chose isolation over assembly. Comfort over calling. And that decision opened the door to adultery, deceit, abuse of power, and the death of an innocent man. 

If you don’t know the story,  David stayed home and went up to his roof and saw a woman, Bathsheba, bathing. It stirred lust in his heart and he sinned by sleeping with this married woman and then worked to cover it up. But sin didn’t begin on the rooftop with Bathsheba. It began when David stopped going with the men and set aside his purpose.

David was a great fighter, but men were never meant to fight alone. From Genesis onward, God forms men in the context of mission and brotherhood. “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18) is not only about marriage.  God is talking about what is good for us and isolation is “not good.”

To the surprise of many, I’m an introvert by nature and while I enjoy solitude and find time alone energying, I also know that I need friendship, community, and others in my life.  I have to push past my introversion and remember what God has said.

Ecclesiastes wisely reminds us, “Two are better than one… For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow” (Ecclesiastes 4:9–10). David had no one to lift him because he had removed himself from the ranks. He wasn’t surrounded by men who would sharpen him, challenge him, or call him back to purpose.

I often think about Jesus who enjoyed perfect fellowship with God and was perfect in every way, yet did not walk alone. He called twelve men to be with Him. He withdrew with them. He prayed with them. And before his crucifixion, He brought His closest brothers with Him and said, “Watch and pray” (Matthew 26:41).

A men’s retreat is not an escape from responsibility; it is a return to alignment and focus. It is choosing the battlefield over the balcony. It is saying, I will not stay behind while other men press forward. We step away from the noise, temptation, and routine to seek God.  This is when walls come down, confession flows and strength is renewed. Proverbs says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). But iron must collide to be sharpened.

Every retreat, Remnant Night, Tribe and Crew is a call to step back into formation. To walk together. To fight together. To return home stronger, clearer, and more anchored in Christ.

Don’t stay behind. Go with the kings.

Praying With Purpose

I remember when I first decided to make prayer a habit in my life. I would go to my quiet place, full of faith, and begin to pray. A few minutes in, though, that faith and expectation would begin to wane as I ran out of things to pray for. I’d find myself not knowing what to say or how to continue. It became discouraging. It’s possible you’ve found yourself in that same place.

The enemy wants to do everything in his power to keep you and me from connecting with our heavenly Father through prayer, because prayer transforms us. It’s through prayer that we begin to have the heart of Christ and submit to His will. It’s through prayer that freedom, healing, and provision come. So as men of God, we must be devoted to prayer—specifically, prayer with purpose.

I’ve found it much easier to be faithful in prayer when I have a clear purpose behind it. We should be men who “boldly approach the throne of grace” (Hebrews 4:16). Because of Jesus Christ, we can enter prayer with confidence, purpose, and power—and see our lives transformed. Here are some practical steps to help you pray with purpose:

1. Have a scheduled prayer time. I know in my life that if it’s not written down, it’s probably not going to happen. We schedule time with friends, family, and work commitments—so why not with the Lord? Have a daily appointment with Him. This doesn’t replace talking with God throughout the day; it declares, “Lord, my relationship with You is a priority.”
2. Have a prayer model. I believe the Lord’s Prayer is the greatest model for prayer. It begins with worship, moves to surrender and seeking God’s will, then to provision for ourselves and others, confession and forgiveness, and finally asking for protection and righteousness. Having structure removes the pressure of trying to come up with words on the spot.
3. Keep a prayer journal. Write down what you’re praying for, including the needs others share with you. As the saying goes, “A short pencil is better than a long memory.” A journal helps focus your prayers—and it’s powerful to look back and see how God has answered them, especially during difficult seasons.
4. Let the Holy Spirit guide you. Prayer is a conversation. Sometimes we do all the talking and never pause to listen. One prayer I often pray is the one Eli instructed Samuel to say: “Speak, Lord, for your servant hears.” Take time to be still. God may impress something on your heart, bring a scripture to mind, or redirect your focus. I’ve often found that it’s in these quiet moments that God does His deepest work in me.

I pray this encourages you to develop a prayer life full of purpose and faith. There is something powerful and holy when men of God devote themselves to prayer. Make prayer a habit. Through it, the Lord will renew your mind, transform your heart, and reveal His good and pleasing will for your life. Pray with purpose, mighty man of God.

What is the Daniel Fast?

A 21-Day Challenge for Men Who Want More of God

Each time this year, I look forward to the first few weeks as our church devotes them to prayer, fasting and seeking the face of God.  The Daniel Fast is one of the most practical and time-tested ways for God’s people to humble themselves, seek clarity, and realign their lives with heaven. It is not a fad diet or a religious stunt. It is a biblical discipline rooted in the life of the prophet Daniel, a man who lived under pressure, temptation, and political hostility—and yet remained spiritually sharp.  Fasting is abstaining from certain foods for a specific period of time for a spiritual purpose.  

In Daniel 10:2–3 (ESV) we read:

“In those days …I ate no delicacies, no meat or wine entered my mouth, nor did I anoint myself at all, for the full three weeks.”

That’s 21 days—not accidental, not symbolic—but intentional. Daniel set aside rich foods, comforts, and indulgences to seek understanding from the Lord. And Scripture tells us that God heard his prayer from the very first day (Daniel 10:12).  As a church we will commit 21 days to fasting and prayer so that we can seek the Lord. 

What is the Daniel Fast?

The Daniel Fast is a partial fast, focused on simple, whole foods: vegetables, fruits, legumes, whole grains, nuts, seeds, and water. It intentionally removes meats, sweets, alcohol, rich foods, and often stimulants like coffee. But biblically speaking, the heart of the fast is not what you remove but your heart during the fast.  Have a heart that hungers and thirsts after righteousness.  Don’t just change your diet, but change your schedule.  Spend more time in prayer, the Bible, worship, meditation and other spiritual practices. 

Why Should Men Do It?

Fasting gives you a chance to slow things down, quiet the flesh and elevate your Spirit. With so much noise and busyness, fasting gives you a time to examine your life, ask questions like “Am I happy with the direction my life is going?” or “What does God want to do in my life for this next season?”   

Start Somewhere—But Start

This is the challenge: take the 21-day Daniel Fast. Not perfectly—but purposefully.

If you’ve never fasted, start simply. Remove desserts. Cut out snacking. Skip a meal. Abstain from social media and replace it with Scripture and prayer.   And if you fail one day? Don’t quit. Pick it back up. God honors faithfulness, not formulas. Jentezen Franklin said about fasting, “If it doesn’t mean anything to you, it won’t mean anything to God.”  Make sure your fast is meaningful, purposeful and a true sacrifice to the Lord. 

Application:

• Write it down:  Write down what your fast will look like. Not just what you will add and abstain from, but what you’re praying for and asking God for.
• Abstain: Consider what you’re going to sacrifice and give up during your fast.  . 
• Add healthy things: Consider what you will bring into your fast.  More time in worship, prayer and meditation are a good place to start.  Perhaps you start a new Bible reading plan as well.

Friendship is Easy—Brotherhood is Forged

Proverbs 17:17  Says” A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (ESV).  But I like the New Living Translation’s version as well “A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.”

There comes a time in every man’s life when a friendship becomes something more—a brotherhood. But when exactly does that happen? Is it after years of pick-up basketball games, late-night drives, or helping each other fix a leaky faucet? While those build connection, they don’t quite forge the kind of brotherhood that Scripture speaks of.

Brotherhood is born in the fire—when two men walk through pain, setbacks, and storms together. When one is bleeding and the other stays. When life gets ugly, and a friend doesn’t flinch. True brotherhood comes not from shared hobbies, but from shared suffering.

Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” The trials of life expose whether we’re surrounded by casual companions or covenant brothers. And Christian men—especially as we grow older—need more than surface friendships. We need men who will fight for us in prayer, call out our blind spots, and hold us up when we’re too weak to stand.

When we were young, conversations came easy—around campfires, in cars eating fast food, or walking around late into the night. But as life stacks responsibilities on our shoulders—marriage, fatherhood, career—those long talks become rare. That’s understandable. But isolation is not.

Studies consistently show that men in our generation are facing rising rates of depression, addiction, and even suicide. One major report from the CDC highlights that men account for nearly 80% of all suicides in the U.S. These are not just statistics; they are warnings. And one cause is clear: too many men are walking alone.

The enemy whispers, “You should be stronger by now. You should have it all together.” But Jesus says something radically different: “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35). Brotherhood is not optional—it’s evidence of our discipleship.

Christ doesn’t call us to carry our burdens alone. Yes, we must first lay them at His feet. But He’s also given us the gift of brothers. Men who’ll wrestle with us through grief, loss, training for an ultramarathon, or walking with a loved one through illness. Men who will listen, show up, and pray. That’s love.

Proverbs 27:17 reminds us, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” But that only happens if you are iron—if you show up with intentionality, humility, and courage. Don’t be a noodle when your brother needs a sword.

There is a stirring in men today. A longing for something real. A craving for brotherhood that costs something but gives far more. And that kind of bond can only be found through Christ, who said, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13).

Application Questions:

1. You have friends, but who are your brothers?  
2. What’s something difficult that you’re facing?  If you haven’t already, share it with one of your brothers.  Ask them to stand with you, pray with you.  Offer to do the same for them.
3. Who are you sharpening?  Who is making you sharper?

How a Biblical Budget Makes Christmas More Meaningful

For many men, the Christmas season creates a familiar tension: we want to be generous, but we also want to honor God with financial restraint and wisdom. Scripture gives us a better approach to Christian holiday finances—one rooted in peace, purpose, and intentional generosity. Practicing biblical budgeting for Christmas doesn’t shrink your joy; it focuses it.

Below is a practical, Christ-centered framework to help you lead your family with clarity and conviction this season.

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1. Define Your Budget: A Simple Framework Anyone Can Use

Most men don’t need a complex spreadsheet—they need a clear plan. A biblical budget is simply deciding how your money will be used before emotion or urgency decides for you.

Use this framework:

• Provision — Cover essentials first.
• Planning — Set real limits on gifts, travel, and experiences.
• Purpose — Predetermine your giving so generosity is intentional, not reactive.

Dave Ramsey’s signature principle applies here: give every dollar a job before it wanders.

Key Verse: “The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance.” — Proverbs 21:5

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2. Trim Thoughtless Spending So You Can Intentionally Bless

Holiday impulse spending adds up fast—quick purchases, upgraded décor, last-minute gifts, and panic buys.

Instead, choose purpose over pressure:

• Cut one subscription for the month.
• Skip one dinner out.
• Cap non-essentials at a predetermined limit.

Redeploy the freed-up margin toward intentionally blessing someone. A small sacrifice becomes another family’s answered prayer.

Key Verse: “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” — Acts 20:35

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3. Give Experiences, Not Obligations

Your family won’t remember the endless parade of toys or gadgets—but they’ll remember the time you spent creating moments with them.

Shift from accumulating stuff to creating memories:

• For Busy Parents – A Date Night On You: Gift Card to their’ favorite restaurant (or pay for a babysitter)
• For the Kids – Tickets to the Zoo, Museum, or  Movies (Candy Included)
• For Close Friends – A simple overnight trip or shared activity

My wife and I love giving the gift of experiences to our friends and family—something they can do together, not another item that becomes clutter and noise. Experiences knit relationships closer; things just sit on shelves.

Experiences deepen gratitude and connection. Stuff depreciates; memories appreciate.

Key Verse: “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” — Matthew 6:21

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4. Practice Husband–Wife Money Stewardship Together

Men often carry financial stress in silence. But biblical marriage is oneness—shared responsibility, shared wisdom, shared mission.

Sit down together to decide:

• What kind of Christmas do you truly desire
• What you can realistically afford
• Who do you want to bless as a family

Your wife isn’t just there to “sign off on the budget”—she’s your God-given partner in wisdom. Unity in planning creates unity in the home.

Key Verse: “Two are better than one… for if they fall, one will lift up his companion.” — Ecclesiastes 4:9–10

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5. Stay Anchored to the Bigger Story

Christmas isn’t about proving your love by how much you spend. It’s about remembering God’s generosity in Christ.

A biblical budget becomes an act of worship—aligning your finances with your faith:

• Generosity > extravagance
• Stewardship forms character
• Peace > pressure
• Presence > presents
• God honors the man who leads with clarity and conviction

Your financial leadership this season echoes into your family’s spiritual formation in ways you may never fully see.

Key Verse: “Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!” — 2 Corinthians 9:15

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Application Questions:

1. Where is my spending out of alignment with the man God is shaping me to become? What one change can I make this week to correct it?
2. How can I involve my wife more intentionally in planning our Christmas budget so we lead with unity rather than isolation?
3. Who is one person or family God may be prompting me to bless this season—and what step can I take today to prepare for that generosity?

From the Soul: What It Means to Serve with Excellence

What the Bible says about Serving

What does it mean to serve? The dictionary defines “serve” as performing duties or providing assistance for someone or something. Another definition says it means “to be useful” or “to fulfill a function.” But while the dictionary defines it, the Bible displays it.

In Genesis 2:5–9, we see God create Adam and place him in the garden “to work it and keep it.” Before sin entered the world, man’s purpose was already rooted in responsibility and service. From the very beginning, to be a man was to serve.

Jesus Himself defined true greatness through service:

“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” — Mark 10:45

If the Son of God came to serve, then every man who follows Him must do the same. Jesus didn’t just say it—He lived it, all the way to the cross. Every act of humble obedience, every touch of compassion, every word of truth revealed what real manhood looks like: strength submitted to God for the good of others.

Service Beyond Sunday

We often think serving means volunteering at church—and that’s a great place to start. But biblical service doesn’t end when the sanctuary’s lights are turned off.

Men, we’re called to serve in our homes by loving and leading our wives and raising our children in the Lord. We’re called to serve our friends, believers and unbelievers alike, showing Christ through consistency and compassion.

And yes, we’re called to serve even those who test us—the boss who frustrates us, the neighbor who grinds our patience, the person who mocks our faith. That kind of service takes spiritual maturity. Serving with excellence doesn’t mean being walked on—it means leading with humility and strength, the kind Jesus modeled.

Serving from the Soul

Paul writes:

“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men… You are serving the Lord Christ.” — Colossians 3:23–24

The word “heartily” comes from the Greek psychēs—literally, “from the soul.” To serve with excellence means to pour your soul, strength, passion, and integrity into everything you do: your marriage, your work, your friendships, your calling.

When those qualities are present, you reflect Christ. When they’re absent, everything—your relationships, your purpose, your peace—begins to wither.

Rise Up and Serve

Brothers, rise each morning determined to serve with your whole soul. That’s what it means to be a good and faithful servant.

And remember: “The righteous falls seven times and rises again” (Proverbs 24:16). Don’t stay down. Get up. Keep serving.

May God’s grace strengthen your hands, His Spirit guide your heart, and His love remind you that the greatest men are not those who are served most—but those who serve best.

Application Questions:

1. Examine your garden:  In Genesis, Adam’s first assignment was to work and keep the garden.  What “garden” has God placed you in right now?  How are you tending it?
2. The test of humility:  Jesus served even those who betrayed, denied, and mocked him. Who in your life tests your patience? How can you serve with humility and not resentment or pride?
3. Work as worship: Colossians 3:23 reminds us that our work is ultimately for the Lord. Do you approach your job, chores, or responsibilities as worship?  A burden? What would change if you saw your work as service to Christ?