Spiritual Growth

LET IT GO

This video explores how clinging to resentment masquerades as strength or justice but ultimately drains your peace, perspective, and future.

LET IT GO Read More »

THE UNITY CHECKLIST

THE UNITY CHECKLIST:
7 Ways to Measure the Health of Your Marriage

A thriving marriage doesn’t happen by accident. Unity requires intentional work—humility, communication, and sacrifice. Ephesians 4:2–3 lays the foundation: “With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

As men, we are called to lead our homes with vision, wisdom, and servant-hearted strength. But how can we know if we’re doing that well? Below is a practical “Unity Checklist”—seven key areas to help assess the health of your marriage and identify where you may need to grow.

1. Faith: Is Jesus First?

Matthew 6:33 reminds us to “seek first the kingdom of God.” A godly marriage starts with both spouses having a shared commitment to Christ. Your wife can’t be your savior—Jesus is. Is your relationship with Him your first priority? Are you pursuing spiritual unity through prayer, church, and the Word?

2. Family: Are You Aligned on Roles and Culture?

Are you clear on your roles as husband and wife? Are you embracing what it means to “leave and cleave” from your parents and to your wife (Genesis 2:24)? Talk through parenting styles, extended family dynamics, and cultural expectations. Is there a stepfamily, and are there boundaries in place?  Unity includes understanding past trauma, sin cycles, or challenges—like addiction or abuse—that could impact your home and intimacy.

3. Fidelity: Are You Guarding the Covenant?

Marriage isn’t a contract—it’s a covenant. Do you have strong boundaries with the opposite sex? How do you view divorce? Are you willing to prioritize your spouse above even your children? Hebrews 13:4 calls us to honor the marriage bed and keep it pure. Unity requires trust, transparency, and loyalty.

4. Free Time: How Will You Enjoy Life?

How do you unwind? What does your ideal day off look like? What about your wife’s? Disagreements about downtime, social media usage, or communication styles can create tension. Do your rhythms clash or complement? Are you willing to adjust to honor your spouse’s needs?

5. Friendship: Are You in Community?

Proverbs tells us we become like the company we keep. Who are the couples influencing your marriage? Surround yourselves with godly, healthy relationships. Don’t isolate. Learn from others—what to do, and what not to do. You’re the average of your five closest friends—make sure they reflect the kind of marriage you want.

6. Finances: Are You Unified in Stewardship?

Money can be a major point of conflict. Are you a saver or a spender? Do you tithe? Are your accounts joined or separate? Budgeting together is an act of trust and unity. Agree on where you’re living, what you’re giving, and how you’re preparing for the future.

7. Future: Are You Dreaming Together?

Do you have shared goals for the next 1–5 years? Are you building our plan or still clinging to my plan and her plan? God didn’t design you to compete with each other but to complete each other. Marriage is a mission, and your vision needs to be united.

Unity is not the absence of conflict—it’s the presence of commitment. The aim of problem-solving is not to win the argument but to win your spouse. God’s purpose for your life includes letting your wife help you, and vice versa. Use this checklist, invite the Holy Spirit into the process, and keep growing—together.

Application:

  1. Schedule a “Unity Check-In” with your spouse and compare notes.  
  2. Where is the strongest area of unity within your marriage? Which area needs to be strengthened?  Choose one area to focus on each month. 
  3. Create a shared vision for the next 1-5 years.  Discuss family values, financial goals, ministry hopes, parenting plans, and begin dreaming together.  Revisit and revise your list annually.

David de la Cruz

THE UNITY CHECKLIST Read More »

LAZYNESS & PROCRASTINATION

Struggling with laziness or endless procrastination? You’re not alone — but you don’t have to stay stuck. In this video, we’ll walk through a powerful, practical BIBLICAL guide to overcome laziness, build discipline, and live with purpose.

LAZYNESS & PROCRASTINATION Read More »

GOD’S DESIGN FOR MARRIAGE

GOD’S DESIGN FOR MARRIAGE: DECLARED ONE – BECOMING ONE

“A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh…What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
–Matthew 19:5–6, ESV

Declared One—Becoming One

There are two questions every man must settle in life: Who will you worship? and Who will you marry? These two decisions shape everything—your faith, your future, your family, your legacy. Get either one wrong, and the consequences ripple for decades. Get them right, and your life becomes a testimony of God’s goodness.

At Awakening Church, I’ve unofficially become the “marriage pastor.” If you’ve been married through us, chances are we’ve had a conversation—about God’s purpose for marriage, about how to build a healthy foundation, about why divorce isn’t the easy out the world pretends it is. We take marriage seriously because God takes marriage seriously.

God’s Design: From Two to One

Jesus quotes Genesis when He says, “A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh…What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:5–6, ESV). Marriage is about oneness. On your wedding day, that oneness is declared. But every day after that, you fight to protect and nurture it.

That’s why the wedding day matters. It’s not just a photo op—it’s a holy declaration. When the bride enters, everyone stands. Not because it’s tradition, but because something significant is happening. Just like when the president enters the room or a judge enters the chambers, the room knows that something noteworthy is happening. This isn’t a contract; it’s a covenant. Two families, once separate, are now united. The couple turns to face the pastor to recognize that God is at the center of this new union.

A Covenant, Not a Contract

Our culture treats vows lightly. Jesus warned against careless promises, but in marriage, the vows matter. They’re not just between two people—they include God as a witness. “As God is my witness…” That’s no throwaway line. Heaven records every vow you make to your wife.

And the rings? They’re not made of paper or wood. They’re forged from metal because they’re meant to last. Your marriage should endure fire, friction, and time.

Oneness Is a Process

Just as salvation is a moment followed by a lifetime of sanctification, your wedding declares you are one—but you spend the rest of your life becoming one. Through joy and pain, laughter and tears, you grow in unity. You learn to forgive, to serve, to lead with love. That’s why weddings often end with communion. Because just like your walk with Jesus, marriage requires grace.

Some traditions illustrate this beautifully: Celtic handfasting, Filipino lasso ceremonies, the bride taking the husband’s name—all echo the deeper spiritual reality: two have become one. Legally, spiritually, and physically, God has joined you together.

And yes, some of you may have gotten the order wrong. Maybe you lived together before the vows. There’s grace for that. But now is the time to set things in order—because God blesses what He builds.

The Work Begins Now

The honeymoon is your first adventure. But the real journey is learning how to walk in unity, day by day. You were declared one. Now, by God’s grace, become one.

Applications:

  1. If your wife were asked today, “Do you feel like your husband is becoming one with you?” What would she say?
  2. Do you treat your marriage as a contract or a covenant?  How have you put the Lord at the center of your marriage?
  3. Have you allowed outside influences—family, culture, work—to separate what God joined together?

David de la Cruz

GOD’S DESIGN FOR MARRIAGE Read More »

Scroll to Top