WHEN ARE YOU READY TO GET MARRIED?
Marriage is a beautiful and holy institution—a good desire to have. It is a lifelong covenant and commitment before God. For this reason, men should be mindful of pursuing marriage only when they are truly ready. The pursuit of marriage should be the ultimate goal of dating. Dating isn’t an end in itself. Dating without marriage in mind can lead to a lifestyle and pattern where relationships become disposable. Because of that, it’s important to reserve dating for when marriage is a realistic possibility—either now or in the near future.
So, how do you know when you are ready to pursue marriage? Here are four questions a man should ask himself to determine if he’s ready.
1. “Am I ready practically?”
In speaking about marriage, Jesus said, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother…” (Mark 10:7). Practically speaking, are you able to move out of your parents’ house? Are you able to provide for your future wife and family?
This requires financial stability. You don’t need to have a million dollars in the bank, but you should be able to bear the responsibility of providing. If the answer is no, begin working on a plan to get there.
2. “Am I ready spiritually?”
Is your relationship with the Lord where it should be? Have you developed spiritual disciplines? Your future marriage will only be as healthy as you and your wife are. Are there sin habits or addictions you’re still fighting? Many believe marriage will fix these issues, but in reality, it often makes them worse.
Find freedom now. Develop spiritual disciplines so you can lead and pastor your future family well.
3. “Am I ready to lead?”
As a husband, you are called to lead and pastor your family. This starts by leading yourself. Do you have goals for your life? Are you developing character and discipline? Ask yourself: If my future daughter brought home a man like me, would I be okay with that?
This question isn’t meant to condemn or discourage, but to help you identify areas for growth so you can become the man God has called you to be.
4. “Am I ready to serve and to sacrifice?”
Ephesians 5:25 tells husbands to “love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” A Christlike husband serves and sacrifices for his wife. Are you ready to deny your flesh? You and your wife will be one flesh. Marriage is about unity. It will no longer be your money, your time, your goals, or your dreams.
True love is sacrificial. True leadership is service. Are you ready to put your wife and family before yourself?
Final Thoughts
Don’t be discouraged if your answer to any of the questions above is no. Ask the Lord to help you grow in those areas. Develop a plan. Don’t do it alone—find accountability in other godly men who will challenge and encourage you.
Take the time now to build the right foundation so that when you meet the woman you want to spend your life with, you are ready to love her, lead her, and walk with her in unity before the Lord.
Application Questions:
- Which area(s) do you need to develop to be ready for marriage? How will you work on them?
- How are you leading yourself? Do you have goals to keep growing as a man of God?
- Are there godly men in your life who can speak into your relationships and marriage journey?